4.01.2013

Christ-Centered Relationships


I hope everyone has had as wonderful an Easter as I did. It's hard not to when you remember what it is really about.

Although I had to work yesterday, I was thankful that I was able to share the morning with my boyfriend and his family at church before heading off. I also won a cute margarita glass set at the church auction! Matt's sweet parents didn't even make me pay them back for it, and they got me some cute flowers to take home with it! I'm so grateful to be a part of this family, especially since I didn't have the opportunity to be with mine. 

That being said, I wanted to shift gears a little bit and talk about relationships, and mine more specifically. As some of you may or may not already know, Matt and I have been together over a year and a half now, and since we are moving to Missouri together soon, that means some big things are on their way.

Although engagement has been something we have talked about from very early on in our relationship, we just simply were not ready. This was due to numerous things, but mostly the fact that I was still trying to decide if a Christian life was something that I wanted. Early on in our relationship, we even broke up due to this "conflict of interest."  (Let me add how much I love and adore his man for sticking with me through this, even despite the Bible's warnings [2 Corinthians 6:14]). How did we deal with this? We realized that we really did want to be together, so we promised each other to stay open-minded, and we did. I also did a lot of reading early on (check out: Jesus Life Coach, Christian Atheist, Crazy Love, Lady in Waiting, and Enemies of the Heart to name a few). As I started to get to know God and actually come to faith, I started to pray A LOT, and I'm sure Matt did too. I can honestly say that we went through some hard things while waiting on God. With Scotland thrown in the mix, distance did not make things easier. To make things more difficult, between the two of us we probably attended nearly six weddings last year, only making this struggle more clear to the both of us.

But we waited, and we are still waiting. Since we do plan to move together in August, getting engaged is a reality, and I know that we both want to make sure we are fully ready for that. I especially want to make sure that my heart is at the best point it can be for him, so that I can be the kind of fiance and eventually wife that he deserves. A question I know we have both asked ourselves goes something like, "Is this the one I want to even consider as a marriage partner?" and I think we can both say with confidence now that the answer is "yes." We might not totally love the idea of moving in together before we are married, but our situation is unique, and I can't imagine moving without him. In the meantime, we are working on making our relationship more Christ-centered, something that in itself is also challenging.


In previous posts I had mentioned that we did the Love Dare. As of today, we are starting, "101 Questions to Ask Before You Get Engaged." The beginning of the book talks a lot about how people rush into engagement without asking enough questions. How many people don't ask these questions because they might not like the answer. Luckily (I may not have thought I was lucky when this was incredibly uncomfortable for me at first haha), we were VERY honest with each other from the very beginning. We knew what the other wanted, their goals, their passions, we just laid it all out on the table. No misconceptions there. We still continue to do this, and I think it is a HUGE reason why our relationship has been so healthy and successful. My suggestion to those individuals that are scared to ask these questions of their mate is, "True love isn't finding the perfect person. True love is loving the imperfect person, perfectly." I think anyone in a long-term relationship can tell you this. You are going to hear things you don't like, but you make a choice to love that person regardless. And to make it even more clear, as a psychology student, your relationship simply WILL NOT be successful if you keep things from each other. You can't be scared of hurting the other person's feelings. I have told Matt some pretty shameful things about myself, but he knows them, and he loves me anyways, and that is the BEST feeling in the world. If you can't share all of yourself with someone, the good and the bad, then they simply don't deserve you. No one is perfect.

I am looking forward to blogging about what this book does for our relationship, and I'm praying that God will guide us through this with wisdom, clarity, strength, understanding, and love.

2 comments :

  1. so awesome!!! kinda of crazy how similar our stories are... love this and how happy you are!

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    Replies
    1. Really?!! I'd love to hear more about that!

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