"An expectation is a premeditated resentment." 

I'm not totally sure where I first heard this quote, but I know ever since I did I have had it on my desktop notes. To me, these six simple words speak bounds. 

As a psychology major (I know, I know, here I go again), I know fairly well that one's expectations of something can become reality simply based on that expectation. If you have heard of the self-fulfilling prophecy, this is a similar concept. The more we expect something to turn out one way, the more likely it is to happen. Or maybe it is better to say, it is more likely we will perceive it as having happened a certain way. 

I really try and apply this concept to my relationship. Sometimes I get mad at Matt for stupid things, like not welcoming me the way I expected him to while I was waiting for him to come over. Like I said, stupid. But this doesn't have to happen this way. If, instead I have no expectations, I will not end up being disappointed that the welcome did not go the way I had planned. Having expectations of others, no matter how seemingly small, is a premeditated resentment. One that can be so easily prevented just by being more conscious and mindful of those expectations.

That being said, I do disagree with this quote a bit as well. I think having expectations in Jesus will NEVER end in resentment. That is because he knows us, he knows our expectations, and if they are founded in His word, there simply is no room for Him to let us down. So, I would encourage you put your expectations in Jesus instead of your boyfriend, friends, or family members. Be intentional and mindful today. 



  1. I needed to read this! I have so many expectations for everyone around me that when they don't live up to those predetermined expectations, I get hurt. Which is silly because they shouldn't have to worry about living up to my expectations and feel pressured. During this deployment, I'm definitely going to work on not placing expectations on people and just loving them for who they are. And, I love what you said about expectations and Jesus! It's so true and something I needed to be reminded of :)

    1. So glad I could stir this thoughtfulness in you. I can so relate to what you have said here.

  2. I just found your blog through the Blog Every Day in May Challenge.

    I think that expecting certain outcomes definitely results in disappointment or dissatisfaction. I think there are certain things that we should expect: like love, respect, hope, etc. But there are other things that are out of our control, and expecting them to go a certain way is missing the point.


  3. Oh man, this sounds just like me. I'm always putting expectations on my boyfriend. He's always pointing out that I'm just mad because I put silly expectations on him (like how I expect him to greet me or when I expect him to show up!) I'm glad I'm not the only one who has made this mistake!


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