5.01.2014

Total Truth Thursday: Expectations

The first thing that came to mind when I saw that today's Total Truth Thursday topic was expectation was this quote:

I honestly do not even know the source of this quote, but it has been on my computer's desktop for years now. I struggle with this thing where I have really high expectations of people, which is of course not always a bad thing. HOWEVER, we are all flawed and none of us can live up to everyone's expectations. The high expectations I place on people often results in resentment and frustration (take wedding RSVPs for example, I just expected returning a pre-stamped pre-addressed envelope would make things easier to respond by the deadline- wrong). I have become more aware of the fact that holding these expectations is just setting myself up for disappointment because no one will ever be able to live up to this "perfect" thing I have created in my head.

I do wonder, though, how do we balance our realistic expectations with those that always expect the best out of people? How do we find the middle ground so that we don't just stop believing in the goodness of humanity? Because I have definitely walked that road and all it leads to is more resentment.

In the last few years I have really been working on trying to overcome placing expectations on others, and instead just trusting that God will provide and fulfill my expectations better than I ever foresaw. It is definitely not easy, but I'm working on it, and I know that letting go of these expectations will ultimately lead me closer to God.

Honestly, I feel horrible for M because I am constantly placing these expectations on him. Expectations that I know only I can fulfill in the way I want. This is absolutely unfair to him, and I know that. I also know, however, that I will continue working hard to overcome these expectations and to be comforted in the fact that maybe my expectations not being fulfilled how I wish, is better in the long run.

What are your thoughts on expectations? How do you place expectations on others and how does this impact you?

 Total Truth Thursday

6 comments :

  1. don't even get me started on RSVPs.......oh.....my....word.

    that quote is very similar to what our pastor said one time "Disappointment is birthed from unmet expectations"

    Had to remind myself of this on a daily basis ......

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  2. I'm catching up on all of your posts now! Sorry for all of the emails! :-p Oh Cassie, this was my BIGGEST struggle during my engagement and honestly, in my entire life. It makes me feel better to know I wasn't the only one frustrated about RSVP's. Ours were online and VERY easy, yet probably half of those invited didn't RSVP. It drove me crazy! I tend to have such high expectations of people and often am disappointed. I'm not really sure how to lower those expectations.

    The wedding definitely taught me a lot about it though...it even kind of hurt some friendships. For me though, it was an eye-opener. It helped me to take a step back from some friendships that were one-sided but I couldn't it see before. And on the other side, it helped me to have more realistic expectations of people. Even well-meaning people can let you down and we have to give them grace for it. Just pray for discernment on which disappointments are which. Trust me, I still struggle with this. Great post!! Sorry I wrote a book!

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  3. I've struggled with this my whole life, too. It's been a loooong process trying to overcome my expectations of others, and honestly, of myself. As hard as I am on others, I'm 100x harder on myself! I feel you girl, I feel you. We'll get there :)

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  4. this is one of the best written posts I've read in awhile! so inspiring. loved it!

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  5. This post. Yes! I can relate to this so much. That elusive middle ground of not expecting too much but also expecting enough is a hard thing to come by. I still don't think I've mastered it. I was reading a book recently that talked about this same topic and the suggestion was to simply not expect anything. I don't think I'm quite capable of that. Thank you for sharing this.

    Also, I spent so much money on pre-stamped RSVPs for my wedding and didn't get all of then back. It was so upsetting to me. Then half the people that didn't bother to send the still showed.

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  6. I love this! The biggest question I struggle with too, "how do we balance our realistic expectations with those that always expect the best out of people?". Wow, you said it perfectly. I have been so let down because of high expectations I have for others - some realistic and some totally unrealistic. I've been trying to be better at discerning between the two, keeping a positive view of others, while not putting on them the responsibility of making me feel a certain way. It's the hardest with my husband, I think. I have high hopes and dreams for our marriage, but trying to remember that I'm married to a real live imperfect human being isn't always easy. I love your honesty. I think recognizing all this is an amazing start!

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