How is Your Marriage?

In writing my post on church community, I couldn't help but think back to the first time someone asked me how my relationship with M was going and genuinely cared to know the answer. It was weird, because I could not remember one time this question felt so sincere. Although I talked incessantly about my relationships with friends in high school and college, marriage is treated differently. Often marriage leads to us being more cut off from our friends, and sharing less. I think our society makes it taboo almost to ask about other people's marriages. So we simply do not ask. We often assume that a marriage is healthy and good, until something awful happens like divorce or cheating. Why do we do this? Why do we privatize our marriages so much? I do not have a good answer.

I do know, however, that we should be asking one another how our marriages and relationships are doing. We should confide in one another and pray for one another. Women and men alike need to share their struggles with marriage so that they can be mentored within the church, kept accountable, and be encouraged. And not just when times are bad. I can promise you, having someone you can share your struggles with is a huge blessing.

I also think that talking with those who are single or just dating about the realities of marriage is so important. So many place marriage on this pedestal and have a hard time enjoying being single. Being single is hard, but marriage is harder. Being real about marriage within the church is not just for married people.

Further, community is about being honest with one another, and relying on one another. I cannot even explain how talking to some of the other women in our church has helped me to be more patient and obedient with M. It makes me sad for the women that do not have this. I pray that we would be more brave in asking each other about our marriages and relationships, even if it feels weird or nosy. We should be praying for each other and offering positive advice to one another regularly.

So, I would challenge you all to ask a friend how their marriage is doing. And I would ask you, how is yours?


  1. I agree. I think it's important to check in with people and their marriage. Not to pry to genuinely see how they're doing. Prayer is so important and what could be more important than having friends pray for your marriage?

  2. YES, exactly! If only we could do it more often as a whole!

  3. Maggie H JohnsonJuly 7, 2014 at 8:12 AM

    Yes, totally agree. It's high time we start getting involved in the nitty gritty of people's lives. That's part of being a community - doing the dirty work to make sure our neighbor is healthy in all areas of life.

  4. Yes. This has been such a huge realization for me lately!

  5. I love this post! It's so true. I think that I tend to reach out to good friends in times of trouble, but no one ever really asks. I guess I'm blessed to have friends who will listen!

  6. Thanks girl. Isn't that weird how that works? I wish it was more common!


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