Equally Yoked: Marriage Letters: An Act of Cherishing

Amber Thomas Mr. Thomas and Me Equally Yoked Good morning, friends and welcome to "Equally Yoked," a new marriage series that is very close to my heart. If you couldn't already guess, the name comes from 2 Corinthians 6:14. Over the next several months, a number of different bloggers will be taking over. Wednesdays on Sage will be full of topics on marriage; the good, the bad, and the ugly. Now if you're single, please don't get to thinking "I should definitely avoid Sage on Wednesdays for a while..." because I am telling you right now that these ladies have SO MUCH valuable information for you no matter what season of your life you are in right now. Plus, you can never be too prepared for marriage, RIGHT? So, friends, would you join us? 

For our first piece in the series you get to hear from the wonderful Amber of Mr. Thomas and Me. If you don't already know this lady, you are going to want to after reading this! I initially started reading Amber's blog because how can I not love another lady with a half sleeve?! One of my favorite things about Amber's blog is her "Marriage Letters" and today she is sharing an extra special one with you all.

Dear Jason, 

We met on the sweaty dance floor of the Aubergine. You, blonde and musclebound, bopped by, smiling bright, quick to shake hands between sways. Me, blonde and bold in my singleness, dancing with a few sorority sisters, quick to judge you as a man on the prowl. Shy smiles. A quick introduction. And then back to booty-shaking just as we were moments before. It felt like nothing special. 

Over the years I've spent moments wishing I could remember the song that was playing -probably some Little John, not yet House stuff. The frat brother that drew you over to our mosh pit of sparkly girls and men's cologne where I was. The sisters who flanked me, but made no impression on your fun-loving soul. I've spent moments cherishing that disco-print dress and yellow belt I was sporting (it now hangs in our closet). Remembering the way your blonde hair seemed to be glowing among the dark fog of the room. Cherishing that He was there, introducing us in a downtown dance lounge. 

We dated over dirty dishes and four frat boy roommates begging for some girlfriend-made cookies. We cooked dinner on campus, in a dingy apartment that smelled like weed a la roommates. We sat in my little room, side by side on my twin bed, watching Juno and Transformers until we knew every single line. We coupled up: seeking each other at parties first, then coordinating as dynamic duos galore, then as a package -the Pike and the Pi Phi. They teased us: why settle when you're so young and so good-looking? Begged us to skip on the relationship and just have some fun

I've spent moments over the years wishing I could remember the way you smelled in those early days before I could soak in the way your soap and shampoo mix in the steamy morning air of our bathroom. The ways you made my heart jump because back then it wasn't helping with drip lines and vacuuming the stairs. I've spent moments cherishing those Juno and Bleaker, Thing 1 and Thing 2, Mr. and Mrs. Clause costumes. Remembering the nerves I'd feel waiting outside the AP&M building for you to emerge. Crying in your arms so early on as we learned we were losing him. Cherishing that He was there, paving the way for us in a oh-so-academic public university.

I left college with a degree and a fiance. We planned. We fought. We compromised. We married.  I went from enjoying your company to craving it, to seeking it out, to living by it. I went from wanting you to needing you. You became like the trees: creating bad into good, providing life-sustaining protection, ever present and beautiful, cherished. Part of cherishing is remembering how you've changed me, morphed me, bettered me: it's marriage letters. Writing to you to let you know how much I care, how much you mean, just what you've done to me. Writing to you to capture these moments and their many emotions, affections, their deepest of depths.  

We will never be those college kids bumping and grinding on beer-soaked dance floors again. Never will we be living behind my parents' house in an apartment dancing around the kitchen. Not a chance we'll get to do the newlywed period over again with its fighting and making up and learning how to share a bed and a closet and a bathroom. And that never doing it over again comforts me. We were them. And now we're us. Remembering, cherishing, commemorating the steps we've taken -small, almost invisible, and giant leaps alike. Looking forward to the movement we're making together, as husband and wife, as an indivisible pair.

I'm better because I'm yours,

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If you liked this post, please be sure to check back every Wednesday. I have some AMAZING ladies lined up including Madison, Cassie, Rachel, and Rebecca!


  1. Note to self: Never ever read Amber's letters whilst applying makeup. It will go badly because I will cry.

    I love this on so many levels. I spend many hours trying to remember those high school summer nights laughing on the lake with Drew, long before i knew I loved him and even longer before I knew he was the one. Cherishing the memory of the first kiss, and hearing i love you for the first time. Cherishing the one you love, all the past and present and future versions of them, is one of the sweetest elements of marriage. Thank you Amber and thank you Cassie. I love you both.

    And I'm enamored with both of your half sleeves.

  2. I absolutely squealed at the announcement of this weekly getup! I adore Amber too and her writing is beautiful. I cannot WAIT to dive in each Wednesday with you and other ladies to learn more about the good, the bad, and the ugly that we all love in our marriages.

  3. Haha your last comment made me giggle. I am so glad that Amber's letter is bringing back these emotions for you. Marriage is so good, but sometimes we get caught up in the craziness and forget to cherish each other! Love you too friend, thanks for your support with the series so far :)

  4. YES! We can't wait to have you each week, it's going to be a GREAT journey!!!

  5. Well how sweet is this??? So precious!!!!

  6. Really?! Get over to her blog right now!

  7. Love everything about this new series and this post!

  8. Cassie this is such a great idea!! I absolutely love it. Way to put it together, can't wait to read more!

  9. Thanks! Can't wait to share the other posts with you all!

  10. I am flattered, thank you so much!!! It's gonna be goooood.

  11. Like love. I mean, you knew that, I didn't need to tell you, but this is SOOOO wonderful and I just can't wait to see what else comes, because it's going to be beautiful and successful and SO CHERISHED by the writers and you and your readers and MOSTLY me. :)

  12. So excited for the journey! And overjoyed that you joined us along the way!!

  13. i love the flow of this post. what a neat way to introduce marriage. ;)

  14. Small, almost invisible, and giant leaps alike.
    So true, love this.

  15. Isn't it amazing!? I can't wait to share this week's instrumental of the series with you all!


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