10.29.2014

Equally Yoked: What Is Fidelity Really?

I'm so excited to be here with you all again for another Equally Yoked! Today we are talking fidelity with Rebecca. Rebecca's heart for her husband and the Lord is undeniable and I am so honored to have her here today. Fidelity is something I feel can be challenging to learn, especially being a female, so I am SO happy Rebecca is sharing her heart with you on the topic today.
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Hi, my name is Rebecca and I blog over at RebeccaChapman.com. I am so honored that Cassie has allowed me to talk to you today. I grew up in California singing and writing songs and today I live in Nashville and work at a record label. I met my husband at church a little over three years ago and we were married last September. When I was younger, it was always my dream to be with a man with a southern accent and I am so lucky that my handsome and loving husband just happened to be born and raised in Tennessee.

When I got married, I made a vow of fidelity to my husband. And when I thought of fidelity, I thought it just meant to be sexually faithful. While that is a huge part of fidelity, I’m finding that there is so much more to it than that.

The dictionary defines fidelity as faithfulness to a person, cause, or belief, demonstrated by continuing loyalty and support.

Meaning to truly show my husband fidelity, I need to support his dreams and give him a safe place to express his desires without feeling like I am judging him.

I need to show my husband loyalty by sharing my joys and challenges with him instead of just my friends.

I need to be emotionally invested in my husband more than any other person in my life.


And for the most part, those things are easy. At the end of the day I cannot wait to tell him how my day was and hear about what he did. I love hearing about his dreams and goals for the future and make a point to show him that I believe those longings can be accomplished. My husband is without a doubt the person I am most emotionally invested in.

But, I admit I sometimes fall short. Sometimes I only tell my mom about a certain struggle I’m having and I assume incorrectly that my husband shouldn’t be bothered with it. Other times I vent to my friends about challenges we may be facing in our relationship instead of discussing it with him directly. And worse still, when my husband shares some of his dreams with me, instead of acting supportive, I worry about how his pursuits will affect me.

Proverbs 31:11 says of a capable wife, “Her husband trusts her from his heart, And he lacks nothing of value.” And I want that for my husband. I want him to feel like he can trust me completely with his feelings, his aspirations, and his challenges because I am his most loyal companion. I want my husband to know that I come to him first and foremost with all my high and all my lows. I want him to feel secure in knowing that I am not only sexually faithful to him, but I am guarding my emotions for him as well.

Connect with Rebecca:
Blog | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter | Pinterest 

See more from the series HERE.   

Hello Neverland

22 comments :

  1. This is so great, Rebecca! What a lucky guy your husband is!

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  2. Thank you Chelsea and Cassie! That is so sweet of you both!

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  3. It's a hard thing to admit where we fall short in certain things of our lives, so I really admire Rebecca for admitting that! I know for sure I fall short. It's a hard thing to be married, but it's so incredibly worth it. I've said it before, but I'll say it every week- I love this series and I love each of the bloggers you've recruited Cassie. <3

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  4. Thank you Melissa! I think marriage has this amazing way of illuminating our weaknesses and challenging us to grow as people. It's not always easy, but like you said, it is so worth it.

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  5. What an amazing post. So interesting to read more about fidelity and how to remain completely faithful to my husband.

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  6. Thanks for reading :) Glad you're finding it useful

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  7. Cassie, I am loving this series! I think emotional fidelity is so important. In my personal experience (my first fiance cheated on me) the emotional cheating started way before the physical cheating.

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  8. Thank you so much! I'm so glad that you enjoyed it!

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  9. Yes, I agree. I think the emotional cheating is such a slippery slope to physical cheating. The problem is that sometimes flirting can seem so harmless that we can trick ourselves in to thinking it's not a big deal when it really is.

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  10. I love this series! Thanks for speaking truth in all of our marriages!

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  11. Thanks again for coming by to read :)

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  12. Thanks so much Rebecca, that is music to my ears!!

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  13. So true ms Rebecca!! I love learning from married women like you so that I can prepare myself
    For that one day.

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  14. Cassie had such a great idea for this series!

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  15. That is great of you to learn ahead of the curve. Before I got married I didn't have a whole lot of great marriage influences (everyone in my family is divorced) so I think I only learned how not to do things. I am so thankful now that I have a lot of incredible examples of Godly marriages to look up to.

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  16. What a wonderful post. With three kids and working part-time, it is easy to take a husband/partner for granted with long days and feeling so tired sometimes. I need to remember that the life we have built has everything to do with him. Our beautiful children are only here because of him. Love this! Visiting from www.simplycomplexmom.com

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  17. Yes to that! It can be hard to remember when life is crazy!

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  18. This is so wonderful! Oftentimes, it's so easy to just bypass the hubs when we have a problem in the relationship or just want to vent about something. That's something that I try to be very diligent about and know that he is the person I want to share everything with and vice versa.

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  19. SO TRUE. It takes intentionality!

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I would love to hear from you! I try to respond to all comments.