Hi friends! I am so excited to be a part of Cassie's Equally Yoked series. I've been reading along and loving every post, so if you haven't, make sure you catch up! My name is Madison and my blog is The Wetherills Say I Do. My blog is a little bit about everything, but mostly I try to focus on making much of every day moments.
When Cassie asked me to be a part of this series, I immediately started brainstorming. I started to talking to my husband, Steven, and he said, "You should write about how you're so patient with me." Figuratively, I dropped my jaw at the sound of that. While I wouldn't say that I am quick-tempered, I also wouldn't have described myself as patient.
Patience is a lifetime work in progress. There are times when I'm patient with my husband and impatient with others and vice versa. It's never something you learn and check off your list. There are, however, ways to eventually learn to be more naturally patient, even if it's not your original nature.
Think before you speak or act
Never, ever, say or act upon your first reaction. We've all heard the saying "think before you speak" but you also have to think before your act. Have you ever gotten so mad that you wanted to throw something? Yeah, don't do that. Even if you're not reacting to a person, if you have a tendency to want to react like that, you might want to work on your patience.
When someone wrongs you (like, ahem, your spouse), your first reaction is usually a combination of hurt, anger, and flat out emotion. Those things are not great responses. Instead, take a deep breath, process a little and then react with a cleaner head.
I tend to overreact about really silly things. For example, going to a restaurant and they're out of what I wanted. I don't throw a fit like a toddler, but all of the sudden I feel my emotions take over, my eyes water, and I'm just not happy. In those moments it's pretty difficult for me to maintain perspective because I need my food, y'all. But when things happen with your spouse, try to keep some perspective: you're going to get through this, you love each other, and it's going to be okay.
Remember your purpose as a wife
When God decided to create a woman for Adam, He said, "It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” As women and wives, we are created to be helpers. We are created to build our husbands up and to help them grow. Whenever my husband has done something I don't agree with, instead of reacting to fulfill my own desires to lash out, I remember my job as a wife to be a helper. So instead of lashing out, I try to point my husband back to Jesus and to help him grow as a person and a husband.
1 Corinthians 13 is one of the most used verses in weddings. Remember this one: "Love is patient, love is kind." Somehow I think we always skip over the first definition of love.
"The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love." Psalm 103:8
God is patient with us, so patient and so gracious. Part of that perspective I talked about also comes from remembering how far we have fallen from God and yet how loving, merciful and patient we are. As Christians, we are called to the same attitude with our husbands. This above all else helps keep my patience in check.
Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of things I do that try my husband's patience, but as a wife, being impatient or irate with my husband serves no purpose except to tear him down which is not what we are called to do as wives and helpers.
Patience is not something you learn overnight. And it's not something you can only apply to one part of your life. You have to start practicing controlling your temper in all aspect of your life (hey, self, that means road rage, too!) and eventually it'll be slightly easier to react slower and more positively.
Do you struggle with patience? How do you work on growing in this area?
Thank you so much to Cassie for having me today!
Connect with Madison:
See more from the series HERE.