11.12.2014

Equally Yoked: Learning to be Patient

With us today for Equally Yoked is Madison. Madison and I have had the chance to get to know each other better over the last few months, and this lady is such a sweetheart. Her heart for her husband and Jesus is unreal. When she told me she wanted to write about patience, I was in awe. Patience is something I feel like I am constantly working on myself. I hope her words reach you the same way they reached me.
________________________________________________________________________

Hi friends! I am so excited to be a part of Cassie's Equally Yoked series. I've been reading along and loving every post, so if you haven't, make sure you catch up! My name is Madison and my blog is The Wetherills Say I Do. My blog is a little bit about everything, but mostly I try to focus on making much of every day moments.

When Cassie asked me to be a part of this series, I immediately started brainstorming. I started to talking to my husband, Steven, and he said, "You should write about how you're so patient with me." Figuratively, I dropped my jaw at the sound of that. While I wouldn't say that I am quick-tempered, I also wouldn't have described myself as patient.

Patience is a lifetime work in progress. There are times when I'm patient with my husband and impatient with others and vice versa. It's never something you learn and check off your list. There are, however, ways to eventually learn to be more naturally patient, even if it's not your original nature.



Think before you speak or act
 
Never, ever, say or act upon your first reaction. We've all heard the saying "think before you speak" but you also have to think before your act. Have you ever gotten so mad that you wanted to throw something? Yeah, don't do that. Even if you're not reacting to a person, if you have a tendency to want to react like that, you might want to work on your patience.

When someone wrongs you (like, ahem, your spouse), your first reaction is usually a combination of hurt, anger, and flat out emotion. Those things are not great responses. Instead, take a deep breath, process a little and then react with a cleaner head.

Keep perspective
 
I tend to overreact about really silly things. For example, going to a restaurant and they're out of what I wanted. I don't throw a fit like a toddler, but all of the sudden I feel my emotions take over, my eyes water, and I'm just not happy. In those moments it's pretty difficult for me to maintain perspective because I need my food, y'all. But when things happen with your spouse, try to keep some perspective: you're going to get through this, you love each other, and it's going to be okay.
 
Remember your purpose as a wife
 
When God decided to create a woman for Adam, He said, "It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” As women and wives, we are created to be helpers. We are created to build our husbands up and to help them grow. Whenever my husband has done something I don't agree with, instead of reacting to fulfill my own desires to lash out, I remember my job as a wife to be a helper. So instead of lashing out, I try to point my husband back to Jesus and to help him grow as a person and a husband.

1 Corinthians 13 is one of the most used verses in weddings. Remember this one: "Love is patient, love is kind." Somehow I think we always skip over the first definition of love.

"The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love." Psalm 103:8


God is patient with us, so patient and so gracious. Part of that perspective I talked about also comes from remembering how far we have fallen from God and yet how loving, merciful and patient we are. As Christians, we are called to the same attitude with our husbands. This above all else helps keep my patience in check.

Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of things I do that try my husband's patience, but as a wife, being impatient or irate with my husband serves no purpose except to tear him down which is not what we are called to do as wives and helpers.

Patience is not something you learn overnight. And it's not something you can only apply to one part of your life. You have to start practicing controlling your temper in all aspect of your life (hey, self, that means road rage, too!) and eventually it'll be slightly easier to react slower and more positively.

Do you struggle with patience? How do you work on growing in this area?
 
Thank you so much to Cassie for having me today! 

Connect with Madison:

See more from the series HERE.   

Hello Neverland

33 comments :

  1. This is so awesome! I struggle with patience daily and it's something that God works fervently on in my heart. My husband has truly taught me so much on how to be slow to anger, how to process hurt without hurting others (because what in the world does that accomplish??), and how to love like Jesus did. Because of all that he has shown me, I want to reciprocate it to him and to others. Wonderful post!

    ReplyDelete
  2. So true. My husband is really good at showing me Grace thankfully, because Lord knows I need it. Especially in this area.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I do struggle with patience and I have often wondered/worried how it will play out in marriage. Remembering God's patience for me...thank you for pointing me back to that today, Madison!

    ReplyDelete
  4. It's definitely a day-in day-out struggle for me. It takes a LOT of prayer haha I think most of my impatience comes from feeling like I need to be in control all of the time, something that marriage will quickly show you is NOT possible haha

    ReplyDelete
  5. Oh girl! You and Gid spoke directly to my heart and at the exact time I needed it. I struggle with patience and The Lord is constantly working on me. Thanks so much for sharing your heart. This girl needed to hear it! :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. This is so great, Madison! :) I love your third point, learning to be a helper and a true Ezer to my husband has made the patience part much easier. There are days when I struggle and get irritated but we aren't perfect. When I take a minute to reflect on how I am acting and try to mirror that action to God's love I am always reminded to take a break and the patience comes so much easier.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I used to struggle with patience a lot when we were first married but I've worked on it and it has really paid off. I love that you brought it all back to God. He is so patient with us and I try to remember that every single day. Beautiful, Madison! I

    ReplyDelete
  8. I struggle with patience! It is hard. I think the older I have gotten the better I am, but there are still those times! I totally agree when you said we need to stop before we speak. Its so easy to let things just fly out of our mouths, but if we stop for a few minutes normally the feeling will pass! I have also learned to just let the small things pass! Is it really worth getting upset over? If the tables were turned would I want my husband to be upset over what I did??
    thanks for a great post!

    ReplyDelete
  9. great post! patience is a struggle in all areas of my life--thanks for this reminder :)

    ReplyDelete
  10. I need to get better at this, I hope that comes with time!

    ReplyDelete
  11. It's so nice to hear that this is a real struggle for many but that it can be overcome :)

    ReplyDelete
  12. YES to all of this. I often times am less patient with those I am closest too, which is a total shame. I need to be better about slowing down and not letting my emotions get the best of me!

    ReplyDelete
  13. I'm definitely guilty of not thinking before speaking. And it most definitely causes the most fights in our relationship. It's a struggle for me because I like to make it known I'm unhappy the MOMENT the unhappiness occurs. It's the way I'm wired, I guess. It's usually over something stupid and petty. It could use a little work. haha.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Oh gosh, I am the same way. Some things definitely are not necessary to bring up at times but I am SO impatient and let me emotions drive me sometimes.

    ReplyDelete
  15. patience is definitely something that I am lacking! Madison, I love when you say "Remember your purpose as a wife" this is soo true. this is something I have to remind myself of a lot. There are times when Josh's depression gets the better of him and I don't think I can hold on much longer, but after lots of prayer and talking with Josh we always get through those moments.

    ReplyDelete
  16. I struggle so much with being patient sometimes. Thank you so much for your encouraging words, Madison!

    ReplyDelete
  17. Processing hurt is a difficult one, for sure. It's so easy to act out in emotion and it definitely takes the Lord's intervention to help our hearts learn to be more patience natured.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Thanks Nina! I think it's something every marriage has to learn!

    ReplyDelete
  19. Thanks Faith :) Your sweet words mean the world to me!

    ReplyDelete
  20. Ahh yes!! Taking that time to reflect helps so so much!

    ReplyDelete
  21. It makes a world of difference when we reflect on how God has shown us patience and love! How can we not at least try to do the same?

    ReplyDelete
  22. I definitely agree it gets better as we get older, but I know once kids are involved, I'll have to learn patience all over again! And it's so true, feelings and emotions will die down, we just have to remember not to act on them!

    ReplyDelete
  23. I'm glad you enjoyed it Meagan!

    ReplyDelete
  24. It's definitely easy to want validity for how we are feeling in the moment! But I think when we lash out we often put the other person in defense mode and that can cause so many other issues!

    ReplyDelete
  25. Remembering that I've been given to my husband to be a helper is seriously such a great reminder!!

    ReplyDelete
  26. Thanks Elizabeth :) I hope this was helpful!

    ReplyDelete
  27. So glad you are liking the series girl :)

    ReplyDelete
  28. YES, prayer has been such a resource for me as well!

    ReplyDelete
  29. this is so good Madison! love your husband's heart for you to encourage you to write about how you encourage him. thank you for sharing!

    ReplyDelete
  30. Isn't this a great post?! She did so well!

    ReplyDelete
  31. Thanks Amy! It really was all his idea :) I'm just flattered that he thinks I do something others can learn from!

    ReplyDelete

I would love to hear from you! I try to respond to all comments.