Equally Yoked is nearing the end but that surely doesn't mean the posts are becoming any less important. Sharing wisdom with us today is Faith. Faith has been married for 12 years! Up until this point we have mostly heard from newlyweds, and I think you will love hearing from someone with more "experience" (for lack of a better word)! It's so important that those of us with more recent marriages hear from women that have been married for longer periods of time. I think Faith does such a great job of being a mentor with this post. Happy reading!
Hello friends, My name is Faith and I blog over at Life with Mrs G & the Artist where I write about our lives, my faith, marriage and family. Sometimes I will have a few crafts, recipes, and vlogs thrown in here or there. We live in Indianapolis and have for about 6 years. We attend Moriah Apostolic Church and we love the church family there..they are so welcoming and friendly. My husband and I work on the Youth Committee and I teach a group of about 15 ladies sign language every week. I also play music and am in the worship team. We love it. It's home for us and I couldn't imagine being anywhere else.
I thought I would share with you a couple thoughts that I have on marriage and how we can respect and honor our husbands. LG, my husband, & I have been married 12 years now. In those 12 years, there have been some things that I've had to learn and things that I've really had to work on. Marriage is a wonderful thing. However, I think sometimes in the midst of all the excitement, love, and happiness that happens on the wonderful day that we become husband and wife, we forget something: We forget that we are now bound to that person physically, spiritually, and emotionally. We are the other half to someone's whole and it makes what we think, and what we say to them and about them, extremely important. I wrote a post a couple of months ago about 5 ways to earn your husbands trust and a lot of the things I said in that post ring true for this post too.
There are a lot of things that women just don't understand that a man needs. They think of their husbands as strong, independent men who are in need of very little; but that's simply not the case. They need you more than you realize. In Proverbs 31, it talks about the virtuous woman and how her husband and her children rise up and call her blessed:
A capable, intelligent, virtuous woman—who is he who can find her? She is far more precious than jewels her value is far above rubies pearls.
The heart of her husband trusts in her confidently relies on and believes in her securely, so that he has no lack of [honest] gain or need of [dishonest] spoil.
I think sometimes we forget that verse 11 didn't just happen. There were things that the woman did for her family that caused them to have that reaction. In verse 12 it says this:
She comforts, encourages, does him only good as long as there is life within her.
So, you see, the Lord has called all of us to be a help to our husbands. They need us to be their support system. They need us to comfort and encourage them. They need to know that we are going to be there and let them know that we are behind them; that we support their endeavors and their dreams. So I started thinking... what are somethings that I could tell my husband that would let him know that I'm behind him 100%? And here is what I came up with.
Eight things your husbands need to hear from you:
1. "I'm glad I married YOU." It doesn't matter how confident and independent your husband is. He needs to know that you are still glad that you married him. He needs to know that you still think that it was the absolute best decision for the both of you and that you are still 100% in this marriage.
2. "Thank you for providing for our family." He needs to know that you appreciate what he does for you and your family every day. He may like his job or he may hate it, but he needs to know that you appreciate what he does to provide for you and your loved ones.
3. "I LOVE YOU." This one doesn't need an explanation! Tell the man you love him!!
4. "Thank you for being the Godly example & leader in our house." This one, to me, is the most important. The husband is the spiritual leader of your home. He is the one, or should be the one, that prays for your family and for guidance in the decisions for your family. He talks to God every day about his family and I'm sure he prays a hedge of protection around you when he isn't there to protect you himself. So thank him for being that prayer partner, that praying husband, father, and friend. Thank him for leading you and being that Godly example to your children (if you have them).
5. "I support you & your ministry." Is your husband a minister? Is he a musician? Is he a Pastor? Is he a youth pastor? Whatever the Lord has called him to do, whatever ministry the Lord has for him, he needs your support and love. He needs to know that you have his back in this life. If God calls him to place far away, are you his help-meet? Are you going to support him in that? He needs that support. Support and love the ministry the Lord has given him.
6. "You are my BEST friend." He needs to hear this! I know us girls are all about our friends and when we think about our husbands we don't think they worry about any of that, but guess what? They think of you as their best friend and they want to be your best friend too! My husband and I just went through a tough situation this last year where we really had to hold tight to each other and be there for each other when nobody else was, or at least when we felt like nobody else was. One thing we learned is that yes, we have friends outside of each other but when the tough times come, and trust me they will, it's nice to know you have that ONE person that will be there no matter what. Which brings me to my next one...
7. "I'm always on your side." ALWAYS make sure that he knows you are ON his side. You have his back NO matter what or who comes against him. He needs to know that you will be there to protect him. Yes, they protect us a lot of time, but there are certain times and certain situations where they need to know you have THEIR back first! When you took those vows at that wedding you looked forward to the fact that your marriage was "for better or for worse," forsaking ALL others. Sometimes "all" means people that mean a lot to you; but after you say "I do" your main thought and focus should be your marriage and your spouse above everyone else. He needs to know you understand that and that you are "on his side."
8. "Never give up on your dreams." Lastly, encourage him to go for his dreams! If he wants to build his own house, tell him to go for it. If he wants to Get his masters degree,encourage him to go for it. If he wants to be a missionary, (I would probably cry being away from my family but again: "forsake all others") be behind him. It's you and him, not you, him and everyone else. Encourage him to follow his heart. The Lord may have work for you as missionaries. If he wants to start his own business, say yes and do what you can to help. He needs to know that you love him enough to be with him 100%!
I know some of these were hard to hear, but I promise you if you do them you will see that your husband will love you for it because you are giving him the courage to live his dreams, you are making him feel like a hundred bucks and he will love you all the more for it. We have to stop being so selfish and start thinking of others. Especially the person you are going to spend the rest of your life with. He needs you to need him; he needs you to love him! Show him love!!! Tell him what he needs and wants to hear, that you love him just for who he is!
It has taken me a lot of years to write some of these down pat. And I will admit that I still struggle at times. I often have to go to my little prayer closet and say "God, I'm at the end of my rope. I don't know how else to help. I need your guidance. Please show me how I can love and honor my husband like you would have me do." And you know, he answers that prayer every time. Just remember... appreciate your husband! God gave him to you for a reason; don't take him for granted.
Connect with Faith
See more from the series HERE.
ALSO, on the Friday following the last installment of the series (Jan. 2), there will be a small poll where you can vote on your favorite post from the series! If you would like to nominate a post, please leave a comment or e-mail me. The winner will receive a little gift from me!