1.09.2015

8 Ways to Be a Great Bridesmaid + Meet Nicole

How to Be a GREAT Bridesmaid

I've been in my fair share of weddings over the last few years. Not to mention my own. Having a solid group of bridesmaids can really make the whole wedding planning and wedding day experiences that much easier and fun. There are a number of websites and books that tell women how to be the best bridesmaid. I think many are petty and miss the mark incredibly. Insert the perfect opportunity to write my own list:

1. Pray over the bride. Hands down the most important thing. If you aren't a believer and the bride is, arrange to have someone pray over her. This was an amazing moment in my day and I wouldn't have traded it for the world. She will be thankful that you did.

2. Ask how you can help. If your bride is anything like I was, she won't want to assign tasks. I'm a Type A control-freak that will stress herself out over doing everything the way I want it. I needed people who would KEEP asking me how they could help. The second part of this, is to actually mean it when you ask how you can help. Don't just ask because you feel obligated. Ask because you love the bride and want to help her prepare for her big day. You might even help without being asked (gasp)

3. Don't complain. Just don't. Being upfront about what you can and cannot afford or what you do and do not prefer is understandable- if you do it from the outset. Brides need boundaries too. You shouldn't, however, do it in a way that might be conveyed as complaining or wait until the last minute to do so. I was hyper-sensitive around my wedding and although I didn't expect my bridesmaids to spend a million dollars on their dresses, get their nails and hair done professionally, or anything along those lines, I did expect them to wear the colors I chose for my wedding with gladness and stay up late with me the night of my bachelorette. Any kind of complaining left me feeling guilty and upset. Call me petty. There are also things that shouldn't be said to a bride; be mindful of that. 

4. Help coordinate other bridesmaids. This is absolutely necessary. Even so if your bride is one of those women that chose all 19 of her closest friends to be in the wedding. Make sure everyone is on time the day of, knows where to be when, is ready to put on a happy face, and is generally helpful to any requests the brides, vendors, or parents might have. This isn't a time to just socialize with each other, it's a time to support your friend.

5. Help coordinate family. This one is key. That crazy uncle who likes to drink a little too much at family events? INTERVENE. The cousin who insists on making negative comments to the bride constantly while she plans her wedding? Keep her away! This can take a ton of stress off the bride. 

6. Keep it together at the bachelorette party. Don't be that girl that gets so drunk that she passes out before the night even starts. You are there to celebrate the bride, not to end her night early because you can't hold your alcohol.  

7. Support the bride's decisions. Making decisions can be hard for the bride. Often times it comes with upsetting someone because you cannot possibly make everyone happy while planing a wedding. Support the bride's decision, even if you wouldn't have necessarily made it yourself. 

8.  Take their mind off the wedding. I got SO tired of talking with people about my wedding (we had a 13 month engagement). It was so nice to have friends that would take me out for dinner or drinks and ask me how I was and not just the wedding. It felt nice to know that people still realized I had to do the everyday things just like everyone else. 

What might you add?

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Nicole Today is My Favorite
Hey friends!  My name is Nicole and I am married to my best guy, Adam.  We have two little dudes we call Emmett Dane and Gideon Brian Steele.  I keep the home fires burning in our 120 year-old-house, where I also run a small handmade business; The Parcel Post Company that is rarely fully stocked.  You might say I wear my heart on my blog, Today is My Favorite.  Most days it's a happy mess of boy toys, our favorite treats and life as a creative.  Other days it is brokenness and stories of the life's messiness, though always hopeful that each day we are being remade.

My heart beats to see women live in community together while pursuing their dreams for the honor and glory of Jesus.  They say it takes a village to raise a child, but I honestly believe it takes a village for any of us to do life.  It's my hope that through my small presence online, I can create an uplifting community of love, so consider this your invitation to join the family.  

And just in case you can't get enough of the two cutest little dudes you ever saw, be sure to join me on my ultimate social media crush, Instagram.  That's where the good stuff really goes down everyday.  I also dabble in twittering and Facebook through the day and tend to over-pin house-spiration on a regular basis.

Okay!  Enough from the me-monster.  Please come find me via your own personal social media crush and tell me what I need to know about you.  I already know we'll be great friends.

xo
n

18 comments :

  1. Great list, Cassie! Though this goes along with not complaining, but I would add also to not make the day about you. One of my BMs insisted she have a certain hairstylist even though it's who I also wanted, so I gave in and let her have her so she'd be comfortable with her hair. The same one also requested time throughout the day to touch up her own makeup, and I just kept thinking it seemed like she was more worried about her own appearance rather than making ME comfortable. She's a very self-conscious person, but still.
    Also, I needed to be reminded of the big picture--that despite all the drama, the point is that I marry my love, and that really nothing else mattered. I got WAY too bogged down in details and playing peacekeeper.

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  2. This is great. If I had had a wedding, I would have wanted all of these things from my bridesmaids.

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  3. I couldn't agree more about being selfless and not making the day about you! And YES big picture definitely. Don't sweat the little things. Sometimes brides need kind reminders of that :)

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  4. SO SO glad you agree. It was actually harder to put this together then I thought it would be!

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  5. This is such a great list! Love it! Also..I didn't know you knew Nicole! I love her and her blog!! She has been a daily read for me forever. :) thanks for sharing!

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  6. She somehow found me recently and I seriously ADORE her. I'm shocked I didn't find her sooner.

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  7. I love these ideas! Not getting too drunk at the bachelorette is KEY (luckily, none of my friends did haha!) and being supportive is always important. I was so happy to have such positive and easy-going bridesmaids!

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  8. It's sad that some bridesmaids misbehave :( Glad you didn't have a bad experience!

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  9. These are such good tips! I totally needed people to support my decisions even if they wouldn't have made them, because it's impossible to please that many people at once. Gosh. I'm also going to keep these things in mind next time I'm a bridesmaid. After having a wedding, it really changes your attitude towards being other weddings. I just want to be the easiest bridesmaid ever now :)

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  10. Doesn't it?! I seriously didn't realize how much went into being a good bridesmaid until I saw other bridesmaids act out and then had my own wedding!

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  11. Can I add one? #9: Don't tell the bride that you'd "better be" her maid of honor! Weddings are so full of drama.

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  12. OH GROSS. I hate when people assume they are entitled to something.

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  13. Such a great list girl! I knew for a fact I didn't want to have any friends being bridesmaids so I chose my sister and Hunter's sister - best decision I ever made! They were so helpful and excited about the big day :)

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  14. This is seriously the greatest list and I can't think of anything I would add. We too had a decently long engagement (12 months) and my girls just NOT talking to me about the wedding was so appreciated. And your tip about intervening and help keep things in order is SO key! As a bridesmaid myself I just really try to take care of the little things so that the bride doesn't need to stress about it.

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  15. Oh my gosh. This list is spot on. I wish somebody would anonymously send it to my Bridesmaids. Something I would ad is the planning of events like the Bridal Shower. If there are 8 Bridesmaids, 2 of them shouldn't be having side conversations when it involves the entire group.

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  16. So glad you agree on these! It definitely changes your perspective as a bridesmaid if you've had your own wedding!

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  17. Hahaha you could always pin it to a shared board on Pinterest ;) and yes to your last point, it should be a shared effort both in time and financially

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  18. Haha that is so true!! I definitely got lucky with those 2 girls :)

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