1.16.2015

F.O.R.G.I.V.E.

Forgive.
I haven't taken the time to share this with everyone yet, and I have honestly been on the fence about whether or not I would at all. However, after seeing Amber's list of ways to write about your word of the year, I knew I needed to share. Not just for your sake, but for the sake of keeping myself accountable.

My word for 2015 is "FORGIVE." 

Forgiveness is something I have struggled with for a large portion of my life. Ever since I can remember, I was not friends with someone because they did X,Y, and Z to me a year ago. With some people, I couldn't even remember what they did anymore and I still wasn't ready to forgive them. Sure, I can let little things slide off my back without care, but that person that didn't even RSVP to my wedding? I'll hold it against them for a good year just so they know they hurt my feelings (even though I probably won't even tell them that).

When I became a Christian, this changed. I knew forgiveness was something I needed to work on. Not just to be more like Jesus, but to free myself from the bondage and weight it was holding me under. It doesn't come easy now that I am a Christian, but just reminding myself that God forgave me when I didn't deserve it makes it somewhat easier for me to forgive others.

Forgiveness is a virtue of the brave

So, 2015 is the year of forgiveness. Here's how I'm quantifying what the word "forgive" will look like for me this year:

F. Freedom from the bondage of holding things against others. Tangibly, this will look like a lot of apologies to others who I felt like owed me an apology. There will be a lot of me reaching out to people I have been holding grudges against, without expecting them to ever acknowledge the thing they did that hurt me.

O. Openness about forgiveness and how it is going for me. I want to be authentic with those around me so that I can be held accountable for how I am living out forgiveness during 2015 on a regular basis. I'd love for you to ask me how it's going.

R. Read books on forgiveness. I have read quite a few already, but I really want to immerse myself in books on the topic this year. Suggestions are welcome.

G. Get better at saying, "I'm sorry." If I can't even ask for forgiveness myself, how can I expect to forgive others? This is something I am admittedly awful at doing; just ask my husband. Bless that man for dealing with my pride so well.

I. Inviting God into the dark places of my heart that keep me from wanting to forgive someone. I want to repent for my lack of forgiveness and ask Him to show me how to forgive even those that hurt me the worst.

V. Vulnerable. I want to be vulnerable with those that upset me and explain to them that my lack of forgiveness wasn't on them, it was on me. I want to be able to confidently say that my lack of willingness to be vulnerable about how they hurt me was probably even worse than what they did to me in the first place. That it was my pride and selfishness that prevented us from moving on or restoring the relationship for so long.

E. Establish some sort of regular way of checking up on myself throughout the year. I can't expect my only accountability to come from others. I'm not sure how this will look yet. It might be incorporated into my monthly goals. It might be something I blog about from time to time as an "update."

What is your word for 2015 and how can I help keep you accountable?

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27 comments :

  1. Amazing post! I love your explanation of what you want forgiveness to practically look like in your life! I just finished reading this verse in my quiet time this morning.. " For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." So convicting but an amazing truth straight from Jesus! xoxo

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  2. Your word for 2015 is both powerful and inspirational. I admire people who learns to forgive; something not everyone can do in an instant. It's always easier said than done for many.


    My word for 2015 is CONSISTENCY. I aim to be consistent with my resolutions, my goals, and everything else that I started doing at the start of the new year.

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  3. This is such a wonderful post. I always try to be forgiving, but sometimes I might be too forgiving and that allows people to walk all over me. I am trying to find a middle ground.

    My word for 2015 is 'inspire' - I wrote about it here: http://www.shedreamsofhope.com/2015/01/inspire.html

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  4. Wow. This acronym is SPOT on! Such a good challenge for ALL of us! I think I might be the only human on earth that doesn't pick a word!!! ;)

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  5. Haha don't worry, last year I chose a little mantra to live by. This is my first year picking a word :)

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  6. This is a beautifully written post and I appreciate your vulnerability. I especially liked how you broke down each letter of it to mean something specific- what a great idea! Forgiveness is hard and as I was reading your post I was thinking that I don't struggle with it too much... But then I started thinking about a couple underlying things that I still haven't forgiven that affect the relationship I have with that person; I think I struggle with it more than I realize.

    I have a brother that's been really difficult to love the past few years and a verse that has really helped me with my relationship with him and forgiveness in general is Prov 18:19. It talks about how an offended brother is more unyielding than a fortified city and when I read that I just decided that I'm not going to be the offended brother. Our relationship is worth more than that. It's been a hard journey but a few years later and things have gotten so much better and it all changed with that verse and the Lord doing a work in me :)

    My verse of the year is generosity. I want to be generous with my money, time, and my home. I wrote a bit more about it on my blog but I mostly just want the year to be one of my husband and I opening our arms and sharing the resources we've been so graciously given.

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  7. YES YES YES I love that verse. I think unless you actually believe God loves you and you have been forgiven, you cannot fully forgive yourself. Love this!

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  8. Learning to forgive can be so hard. Consistency is something I want to strive for as well :) especially with forgiveness! Happy Friday Jae!

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  9. THANK YOU. Yes, finding a middle ground can be hard- praying you find the balance :)

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  10. I love the word "generosity." I toyed with the idea of "serve" a lot and they are very similar! It sounds like you have been on quite the journey to forgiveness as well. Praying that this year is a great one for you!

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  11. Your word for this year is so beautiful. I struggle with forgiveness as well. Mostly forgiving myself for mistakes I've made. Usually I tell people (and myself) that I forgive them for hurting me but I think I carry a lot of resentment which I guess means I haven't really forgiven. I'm looking forward to seeing how God moves through your word this year.

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  12. Ha! Well, then we're a reminder of each other's word for 2015. :) (If that made any sense...)


    Happy Friday to you, Cassie! It's already Saturday here in Manila. ;)

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  13. Thanks lady. I definitely say I have forgiven on the surface level too but then come to realize maybe I haven't fully.

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  14. Praying it is for you as well, looking forward to following along your journey! :)

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  15. Wow. Reading everyone's words this year has me making a list of words I need to work on. Choosing just one is hard, but in order to grow we have to make baby steps. One thing at a time.

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  16. That's the truth. For me, everything I do has to be broken into small manageable tasks :)

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  17. This is really good Cassie! I'll be praying for you in this journey :)

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  18. This is so well written, Cassie. "Forgiveness is the virtue of brave" - I've never thought of it that way before but it does make so much sense. You'll be in my prayers tonight! :)

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  19. This is definitely something I struggle with. I am that way - I hold grudges and I will keep them tightly within me for long periods of time. I can't get past it. I need to work on myself in this regard.

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  20. I'm definitely with you girl. I hang on to those things like it's my job-- I'm so ready to break free of it!!! Wishing you the best of luck too :)

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  21. This is so wonderful and something I am also working on as well with different people in my life. My deal is that I always will forgive up front, but I surely won't forget what you've said or done. Thus, not necessarily really forgiving now, am I? I will pray for you and that God will release you of those bondages through time and faith.

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  22. Oh yeah, I can completely relate to that girl. I'll be praying the same for you :)

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  23. Andy Stanley's "Enemies of the Heart" helped give me the freedom iof forgiveness. :) definitely a must read

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