The comparison game is dangerous. Us females know that all too well. My phrase, if you will, for 2014 was the classic quote from Teddy Roosevelt: "Comparison is the thief of joy." Although this sounds stereotypical, it really is true. Comparing ourselves with others really is a recipe for disaster.
When we first got married, I had many expectations for what a godly marriage should look like. I had preconceived notions of what it meant for my husband to lead me, how our prayer life would look, and how we would make Jesus the center of our home. And guess what? I spent the first few months of our marriage feeling like we were doing it wrong. Like we were failing. But were we really failing? The answer is absolutely not. We just weren't exactly meeting the expectations I had put upon us.
Where did those expectations come from? Comparison. Comparison with other women and their marriages. Comparison with media. Comparison ALL AROUND. Comparing your marriage to others is toxic, and I know that first hand.
In the blog world, we see perfectly staged instagram photos of women laying in bed with their husbands on Saturday morning, Starbucks in hand. We see professional photographs of women cooking in their kitchens with their husbands for those not so original "home shoots." We see perfectly tidy kitchen tables where women sit and read their bible, pray over their marriages, and journal about how perfect their husband is.
What we forget, however, is that we don't see the other parts of marriage. We don't see videos of the fights over the laundry. We don't see the pile of dishes in the sink waiting to be washed. We don't see unmade beds and dusty bibles. Because that wouldn't portray our marriage well to the outside world, would it?
Comparing your marriage to someone else's is guaranteed to rob you of your joy and leave you feeling down. No one's marriage looks the same, and that's perfectly alright. Sure, it's great to look up to women with healthy, biblical relationships, but it's also important to not let that go too far.
My husband might not like to lay in bed with me all Saturday morning so that we can stage the perfect instagram photo, but he sure likes to beat me out of bed and make coffee and pancakes. Our kitchen might not always be photo ready, but it's sure full of a lot of good food and fun. I might not always clean off my kitchen table, pray like I should over my marriage, or journal about how perfect my husband is, but I sure as hell make sure to spend quality time with my husband every night, even if only for an hour. And our prayer life might look different then yours, but we pray and that's what matters.
Although my marriage might not look like that of other women, I am content with that. I'm learning a marriage doesn't have to look a certain way to be happy, healthy, and focused on Jesus. We all do things a little differently, and that's what makes marriage fun.
Today, I challenge you to examine what areas of your marriage you might be comparing to another marriage. If it's a healthy comparison, I pray that you would strive to better your relationship in that way. If it's not a healthy comparison, I pray that you would break free of the chains that holding you from embracing the marriage that God designed for YOU and realize that it doesn't have to look like anyone else's to be perfect for you.
Today we have a guest joining us, Christine from Christine Everyday (previously the So-Called Homemaker)! Christine's personality is one of a kind and I appreciate her sass and sarcasm more than she will ever know. She is always my go-to person for blog related question and she's always such a huge encouragement to me at the moments when I need it the most. Take it away, Christine!
Hello everyone! I'm Christine, and I write over on Christine Everyday, a blog about life at home and beyond! I am a real estate agent by day and a homemaker by night, and on my blog you can find anything from recipes to real estate tips, teaching tips to baby pictures. Lots and lots of baby pictures. Cassie asked me to tell you a little about myself, so here goes:
1. What are you passionate about? I think if I had to pick one thing, it would be that I want to live life, not just exist. I think that encompasses everything that I do in my life. I am passionate about my work and supporting my family, I am passionate about my opinions, I’m even passionate about the books that I read. I believe that everything in life should be exciting, and so I treat everything as such.
2. If you could learn to do anything, what would it be and why? Oh man, just one thing? I guess I’m going to go with gymnastics. I have always thought that gymnastics looks like a lot of fun and how cool to be able to do such amazing things with just your muscles. Gymnasts are amazing.
3. What’s something you wish everyone knew about you? I would want everybody to know that I am very rarely serious. By which I mean: if something ever comes across like I’m being mean, I am most likely joking. I have a weird sense of humor so often people think I’m mean or serious when I’m not. I try to make myself clear, but hey, we are who we are! :)