7.08.2015

I'm Insecure About My Insecurities

Insecurities. Where to start? Every woman has them, whether they let that consume them or they spend the majority of their time trying not to show them. I fall into the latter. I have always been confident and sure of myself, but that doesn't mean that I don't struggle with some insecurities. If you said you weren't insecure about anything, I would worry about you.

As of lately, I have really come to the realization that my biggest insecurity is appearing insecure, dependent, or incapable. Are you confused yet? Let me break it down. I'm scared of looking like I need someone else, like I need someone to help to me. I'm terrified of looking helpless or needy.

I've always been an "independent woman." R-E-S-P-E-C-T AM I RIGHT?! Although society respects this, it's not what God desires of us, especially within marriage. Because I have a hard time accepting help from others and being dependent, my faith has been a constant challenge. I often laugh at the phrase "spiritual warfare," but this is descriptive of my entire walk as a Christian. 

Then, we can look at this insecurity within my marriage. Marriage has been incredibly sanctifying for me because in marriage we are CALLED to be submissive to our husbands. For someone that had just become a Christian shortly after meeting my husband (and for someone in a seemingly constant state of spiritual warfare), this was a huge challenge for me. How was I supposed to give up control and trust that my husband could do the things I took so much pride in doing myself. How could I trust that he could do it my way and not miss a single beat?

Well, newsflash. My husband is never going to do things my way or when I want them in exactly the way I want them done. But that's alright. It's more of a fault of my insecurities than it is a fault in him. God has used my marriage to show me that maybe my way isn't best, that maybe I need to rely more on Him to help my husband be a leader and stop trying to do it myself. That maybe, just maybe, my husband knows better then me (GASP!). God has been slowly breaking down the walls of my deep desire to be independent and showing me what it takes to be in a God-honoring, healthy marriage. If anything, I have learned that not letting others help me doesn't make me brave or strong, it makes me so incredibly weak.

So lately, I have been trying to face my fears of being dependent with bravery. With complete reliance on and trust in Jesus. Trust in his promises and his goodness. He WANTS to free us from our insecurities, we just have to trust Him enough to do it.

Friends, I pray that whatever insecurity you are struggling with today, you will hand it over to God. I pray that you will immerse yourself in his truths and study his promises to you.

What are your insecurities and how are you facing them?
 
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28 comments :

  1. "My husband is never going to do things my way or when I want them in exactly the way I want them done. But that's alright. It's more of a fault of my insecurities than it is a fault in him." = My heart exactly. I have so much trouble letting my husband do things, and it's a constant struggle. Marriage takes a ton of getting used to and sometimes I wonder if you ever really get totally used to it...but the learning cure is still fun!

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  2. I think this is something we can all relate to....the insecurities you feel resonated with me. Learning to trust in myself fix one of my biggest goals. Love your openness and sharing this. Thank you.

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  3. Hahah I can definitely feel you on whether or not I will ever get used to it. It takes such constant work!

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  4. Thanks for your encouraging comment, Anne! :)

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  5. I have to say I struggle so hard with this myself. I feel insecure about things pretty frequently but showing that I feel insecure to me feels like the worst thing ever.


    I really respect how hard you work to live up to the Christian values that you believe in. I'm really impressed with your honesty in these sorts of posts. Thank you for sharing!

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  6. Thanks, Kristin. I always thought being a Christian would be "easy" while I was an atheist but it has been one of the hardest things I have ever done.

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  7. Love that GASP moment. I have that thought SO OFTEN in life, and it is so humbling! Love this post, friend!!!

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  8. HAHAH I feel like I need to have more of them

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  9. "I'm scared of looking like I need someone else, like I need someone to help to me. I'm terrified of looking helpless or needy. " I feel you. Gal 5:1 is one of my touchstones. One day I was reading it and realized wait...it is FOR freedom that Christ set us FREE. So Christ died that I would live in freedom? Am I living in it? Am I walking in it? And that's why he did it? I have to just go back to it pretty much daily.

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  10. I love this. Thanks for being so real and honest! I love the reminder that we can live in FREEDOM in Christ! That means we don't have to be bound to anything, including our insecurities!

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  11. "maybe I need to rely more on Him to help my husband be a leader and stop trying to do it myself."


    ohh, so so good.

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  12. YES. Isn't that insane to think about? Are we thriving in what he intends for us?

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  13. It's cool you said that because below Nina referenced Gal 5:1 which is about the freedom in Christ

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  14. Now I just need to REALLY internalize it

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  15. I really, really struggle with this as well, Cassie. I was nodding my head with so much of what you shared. I'm still working through these things... Thanks for sharing this :)

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  16. Thanks for encouraging me that I'm not alone. It's constant work for me. Has anything in particular been helpful for you in walking through this?

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  17. I love the title of this post. I can totally relate. At the end of the day we do have to trust that God made us this way and when we surrender to him that He will take our anxiety and insecurities into his own hands.

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  18. Thanks for making me realize I'm not alone!

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  19. I absolutely relate to this. While we're not married, after nearly 8 years together I still struggle with partnership and releasing control. One of our biggest sources of contention comes from my not "needing" anyone. I'm there for him when he needs help but refuse to ask for it.

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  20. Reading posts like this are helpful because I'm reminded I'm not alone too :) Spending more time in the Bible and discussing it more often with others helps.

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  21. Beautifully written. Thanks for sharing your heart with us!

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  22. I have a hard time with this also. I was almost 34 when I met my husband so to spend so many years on my own, doing my own thing, not having to answer to anyone, I've found it difficult to be submissive to him. Especially when it comes to finances. I'm lucky that I have truly found a partner so although it's difficult at times, I know I can completely trust that he has our best interests in mind when he has to make the final decisions on things.

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  23. I can definitely see that making things harder. I'm 24 and still find it hard enough and I was only living alone for a few years! Thanks for reading!

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  24. I am the same way! I've always had an independent, do it yourself spirit for many things. Sometimes it is hard for me to rely on my husband or ask him about things, because I am so used to doing things for myself! Thank you for sharing your heart and how you are working on this. I am encouraged!

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  25. Thanks Julie. I am encouraged knowing I'm not alone!

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