Sometimes I feel like I owe everyone an explanation for the sudden radio silence, but then I remember that not everything in life needs to have a rationale behind it. Not everything is meant to make sense. My blogging break started out as planned but quickly became the new norm as I realized the state of my heart. How can I come to this space and encourage others, when I feel so desperately in need of encouragement myself?
I have said time and time again that the blogging community is special, and it is. However, there are also things about it that weren't, and still aren't, bringing me joy anymore. I'm not sure when the norm became to post blogging tips, how to... brush your teeth/clean/put pants on, etc. etc., but it just wasn't speaking truth to my heart in the way it used to. For me, my blog was a space to come and pour my heart out, but I felt the pressure of having pin-worthy posts and beautiful pictures, and to me the fun became lost. I wasn't pouring out in the same way anymore. I wasn't encouraging others in the way I intended to when I started this blog.
Now, don't get me wrong, there are still a number of blogs that defy the pressure of "blogging norms," but the majority feel cookie cutter. As I have been walking through this period of sanctification, I've been learning about how much I CRAVE authenticity from people. I need it to feel close to someone. Realizing this, I thought: Maybe I don't feel connected to my blog anymore because I'm not being genuine to myself. I'm not being authentic.
I'm not sure if that's an explanation because, honestly, most days I don't feel like blogging at all. But I think it might be one piece of the puzzle. I don't know what this space will look like moving forward. I don't have a plan. I do know, however, that I want to go back to the basics. Encouraging you and sharing my heart.
Thank you to those of you who have stuck around. Who have tweeted me to tell me they miss my heart. I appreciate you and I hope you will continue to follow this little space of mine.